|Many Sisters . . .One Sisterhood.|
Friday, August 27, 2010
I was born into a family of all brothers. All older brothers. I remember as a young girl wishing for a sister. I would ask my mother if she would have another baby so that I could have a sister and she would laugh and tell me no - that wasn't possible. I just wanted another girl in the house that could do "girl" things with me. I wanted someone to play hair and dolls and do nails with. But instead - it was all boys.
As I reached high school, I began to realize the value of girl friends. I had some very close friends that I could do all of those "sister" type things with.
When I married and had children, I wondered where "friends" would fit into the equation. My husband and I had plenty of friends - there were other couples and families that we would get together with and have dinner and play board games while our children played. And then in 1988, I left the corporate world for several years to raise my children full time. And the isolation kicked in. I realized that I didn't have any best girlfriends. It seemed like everyone was going off to work and having adult relationships and I was at home with toddlers. It was HARD! There were many tears through that period. And some friends came and went - but they weren't the "I can't go a day without talking to my best friend" kind of friends that I had had in high school. Until 1992 . . .
my third child was born. And through that experience, I met someone. A mother with young children, similar parenting beliefs and styles, like-minded morals and a sharp sense of humor that helped to keep the ups and downs of motherhood in perspective. I had found my friend. A few years later, I met another woman that was much the same. And shortly after that, yet another woman. And as if I wasn't blessed enough - 2 years ago another soul sister entered my life. Years later, these women are still an integral part of my life. They are my touchstones. They help to ground me. I have solved many problems and found many answers during our everyday conversations. Who needs therapy when you have friends like these?
When I think back over the years and the experiences I have shared with these women, I realize that between us we have witnessed the birth of children and grandchildren, our collective children have moved through preschool, elementary, high school and college; there have been 2 marriages of our children; there has been one divorce and another marriage in crisis; several bouts of unemployment; new businesses started, a few didn't quite make it - major moves, including one relocation to another state; there have been illnesses from the common cold to much more major illnesses; deaths of parents; birthdays, celebrations, ups, downs, good, bad and ugly. There have been laughter and tears shared over breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. There have been weekend get-a-ways, family camping trips, and family vacations to more exotic locations.
The men - our husbands, have been friends, but they relate to each other in a much different way. They talk about jobs, home improvements and successes.
But us girls? We talk about our secrets, our hopes, our dreams, our fears, our frustrations - for ourselves and for our family members. Life has changed where we all are at. We are all working full time jobs now and our free time is at a premium. But I can say that not a week goes by that I don't connect with all three of these women - either by phone, over a meal, over through the internet. And whats more important - I know that if I called any of these women and told them I needed help with something they would be there in a hearbeat - no matter the time of day or night. They have proved this to me over and over throughout the years.
These women may not be related to me by birth or even by marriage - but I never could have asked for more loyal and wonderful "sisters". I know, deep down in my soul, that no matter where our lives take us - these relationships will endure. We are "one Sisterhood".
Who is your best girl friend? How long have you known her?