Over the Rainbow...

I can't remember the first time I saw the movie "The Wizard of Oz".

I just remember that it was an annual event.

Of course...

I am of the era that grew up with no dvd's or big screen plasma tvs or cable television.

If we wanted to see a movie, we went to a movie theater or

we waited for it to be played on television.

If we watched it on tv, the disclaimer that it had been "edited for television" always preceded the start.

This meant that minutes had been shaved off the movie to allow for plenty of commercials.

But there were no other options, so we endured the commercial breaks.

 

The "classics" were usually broadcast once a year -

"The Ten Commandments" was always played around Easter.

Sometime in the winter, they would play "Gone With The Wind" - over two nights!

"My Fair Lady" was usually a holiday movie.

And then there was "The Wizard of Oz".

Life stopped and schedules were planned around these special movies.

The whole family gathered with large bowls of popcorn sitting in our laps.

 

And the movie about the wonderful land of Oz was always a favorite.

The music.

Dorothy and Toto.

The witch.

Glenda.

But the best part...the transition from black and white to color.

Magic.

 

I remember, when I was in my early 20's,

a local movie theater that was known for playing only "classic" movies

had a showing of "The Wizard of Oz".

On the big screen.

I went.

And the movie took on a whole new feel for me.

 

Let's face it - today's movies are much more spectacular from a technical standpoint.

My children have a hard time appreciating some of the older "classics" because they are so used to the perfection that is achieved through computer technology.

But for me, the magic of the "Oz" remains to this day.

 

One of the most enduring aspects of that movie is "the" song....

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow"...

In my humble opinion - one of the greatest songs ...EVER!

The melody.

The simplicity.

The complexity.

The message.

 

I don't know what it is about that song in particular.

But being a music person - and a music person that really appreciates great lyrics -

this one speaks to me on a deep, almost spiritual level.

The idea of a land where everything is perfect;

the feeling of possibility, of longing, of hope, of dreams...

 

The song was magical to me as a child.

As a young mother, I sang the song to my children as a lullaby.

As an adult, I have sang the song for weddings as young couples began their new life together.

I have sang the song for funerals as family members have said their last goodbyes.

As a recently seperated married woman, I sat at my piano and sang the song with tears running down my face, as a way to find solace in my new uncertain world.

And now - as a divorced woman looking to the future,

I sing the song with an eye on possibility for greater things to come.

New adventures, new dreams, new roads to travel, new destinations...

anywhere my wings will take me.

 

Birds fly over the rainbow...

and so can I.

 

 

 



Let Your Flag Fly. . .

 

Ever since I was little, I have loved music.

I love to listen to music.

I love to go to concerts.

I love to sing.

I love to play music on the piano (I even played the organ when I was younger).

 

Music is a source of joy for me.

It is also the way I cope with stress, anxiety, sadness, and every other emotion I experience.

I use music to convey my feelings that I cannot find words for.

Many times, if a friend is struggling or I want to tell them something that I can't find words for - I will send them the link to a song.

I love music.

 

Music is a part of me.

Music is ALWAYS playing in my car and in my home.

I have smacked people's hands and scolded them for turning down my music.

Heaven forbid they should turn it off!!!

 

I budget the purchase of music into my monthly budget!

I love music.

 

When I was College age, I was living in a tourist town and working for a couple who owned a motel.

They set me up in a motorhome so I could have my own "space".

It was a great arrangement until they took away my electrical supply.

I still had lights and heat - but I lost my ability to play my music on my "boom box". (Remember those? LOL)

I sunk into a bit of a depression.

I was lost.

I had a hard time functioning and when I was alone in my space, I would experience an overwhelming sadness.

At that point in my life, I had a major "a-ha" moment as to how important music was in my life.

It was not a "like" . . . It was a requirement!

 

Fast forward to present day. ..

 

As you know, I have recently moved.

I am in a new neighborhood and am establishing new routines.

My daughter and I made a major decision when we set up our new place.

We opted to not put a television in our main living space.

We both have tv's in our rooms, and I do enjoy watching a movie in the evening every once in a while.

But we didn't want the energy of the tv dominating our living space.

We wanted that space for talking and relaxing.

And because of this . . .the first thing I do when I go into my kitchen/living space, is turn on music.

I've never thought anything about it. . .

until a friend had visited for a couple days at the beginning of the month.

My friend (who had never "stayed" with me before) commented that his favorite thing about being in my home was that the music is always on.

Hmmmm .... well, of course it is.

It's a requirement!

And not only is the music on - I am usually singing right along with it.

Rather loudly.

I am not shy about singing to my music in my home. (Sorry neighbors).

But singing loudly has snapped me out of melancholy moods, sad moments, and boosts my happiness quotient.

So why wouldn't I sing?

Music playing in my home is almost as much of a requirement as . . .electricity!

 

Recently I was out of town helping a friend move.

There were several of us who had gathered together for the weekend to lend a hand.

We were loading up my car with items to be donated.

My keys were in the ignition, the music was playing loudly, and the car doors were open.

Oh - and we were in a parking area where there was a lot of traffic.

A great song came up on the CD player - one of those songs that you just can't help moving to when you hear it.

I started dancing.

Then the person I was working with started dancing.

We had a dance party right in the middle of the parking lot with strangers looking on.

Some laughed. Some looked at us like we were "freaks".

 

I have a dog.

I no longer have a yard.

This means that I must, without fail, take my dog on a couple walks a day.

We have a couple very short walks - and two long walks.

And it is just me and him.

I am creating my new walking path.

And as always - music is a part of my walk.

I plug in my headphones, turn it up loud enough to block out the world and walk the dog.

And I always find myself singing . . .out loud.

In my old neighborhood, I walked in a school yard and was almost always alone.

So no one noticed my singing and dancing to the phantom music that only I could hear in my headphones.

 

But I walk in a neighborhood now. The other day, I was walking and singing - at full volume- and I looked up and saw a few of my new neighbors looking at me with strange looks.

I felt a bit like a "freak".

 

I made a comment about it on FaceBook and a friend told me to "Let your freak flag fly high!".

I love that statement.

And I love flying my freak flag . . .sometimes.

But usually, I am very shy about it.

Until recently. I am trying to not worry about what others think.

If it makes me happy . . .I need to do it!

 

But it got me to thinking. . .

We all come into this world with certain talents, abilities, passions and drives.

Some passions, talents and drives develop based on our environment, friends and the things we are exposed to.

I KNOW that I came into this world with a passion for the arts - especially music.

We may take lessons to develop those talents - we may explore and spend time on them every day.

We become proud of them.

And then . . .

we hide them.

Why???

We find ourselves feeling self-concious if we sing out loud at the top of our lungs while walking our dog.

We worry what the neighbors will think.

 

I wonder - I pay money to go see certain musicians play on a stage and feel honored and excited to be part of the audience.

But what would I think if I saw them singing out loud while walking down the street - especially if I didn't "know" who it was?

Would I recognize the talent and stop to enjoy?

Or would I think they were strange?

Would I honor the fact that they were "flying their freak flag?"

Or would I look away and try not to make eye contact?

 

What would the world be like if we felt more comfortable "flying our flag?"

I think - no, I believe - it would be a much better place . . .

we would hear more music, experience more dancing, engage in more laughter and see more color.

We would live in a world that was full of people who were passionate about performing the mundane tasks of everyday life because they could openly express themselves.

And because they could openly express themselves in a way that brought them joy,

it only stands to reason that we would all be happier.

And that cannot be a bad thing.

 

So here is my decision -

I am flying my flag . . .high and proud!

Or least I am going to try. .

I am going to do my best to let my passions for life be seen on a daily basis.

So if you happen to see a dark haired woman out walking her big, curly dog and singing at the top of her lungs - rather than looking at her like she is strange -

why don't you join in and sing with her?



Where Would I Be Without A Song?

About a year ago I wrote a post about music.

I wrote how I was having a rough night and I retreated to my studio,

cranked up some music and through the power of a particular song -

the stress seemed to go away.

Today I will revisit that topic.

Lately - I am having a few more "rough" days than usual.

Now, please don't think that I am sitting at home,

having lost my will to go on.

It's nothing that dramatic.

In fact - quite frankly - I am doing quite well . . .

all things considered.

I have been making art like crazy.

I have had more orders than usual come in.

I have had successful art shows/festivals -

another one this weekend, in fact.

I am finding my groove in my new life as a single woman.

I am working through the "business" of divorce.

In fact - i can actually say the word now.

I smile more that I am sad.

I laugh more than I cry.

But some days . . .well -

the rough days creep in.

This last weekend I had a very successful art festival.

The weather was beautiful and the people were in abundance.

I saw old friends and met new ones.

It was a great weekend!

But it was also one of the hardest I have ever lived through -

I have been participating in this particular festival for the last four years -

and my husband was my partner each year.

We spent the whole weekend together as a team.

When I showed up with a girlfriend to set up my space, I was immediately asked where he was.

That set the pattern for the rest of the weekend.

They question "where is your husband?" was asked and I retold the story . . .

and answered questions, and received hugs and "I'm sorries".

The support was overwhelming.

But, although I felt all of the wonderful love and support -

each time the question was asked,

it was a bit like getting kicked in the stomach . . .over and over and over.

BUT . . .

I did well.

I stayed strong.

I kept a smile on my face.

Until Monday when I fell apart.

I was tired and it all caught up with me.

I cried. 

A lot.

You know the kind - gut wrenching, can't breathe, toxin cleansing crying. . .

A friend of mine sent me text to check in - how was I doing?

A rough day, I answered.

Her response was to have a cold diet pepsi and crank up some good music.

Obviously - she did not understand how upset I was.

Such simple advice for such a major meltdown.

I took the advice.

(I did; however, expand the advice to include a large bag of M&Ms - just for added insurance.)

I plugged my iPod into the dock in my studio and turned up the volume.

Way up.

The sound filled my studio room.

I was the only one home.

I pulled out the paints and the projects I was working on.

I was working on mindless base-coating - just laying in blocks of color.

The perfect task for singing.

I cleared my head and focused on the music.

I let the music play and I sang.

I sang loud.

I sang with feeling!

In between songs - I sipped my diet pepsi.

The music didn't change the fact that I was sad.

I am ok with feeling the sadness when it needs to be felt.

I need that to move forward.

But the music affected me on a soulful level.

As I sang - the tears cleared.

I felt a lift of pressure - I felt a bit of joy.

Through this process, many people have sent me songs to listen to.

Some of the songs talk about taking charge, surviving and using the bruises we gain in life to grow and excel.

The power of music cannot be understated.

A song can take me back to a particular place, a moment in time . . .

I can feel and smell and experience memories all over again when I listen to a song.

I have entire mood shifts based on the music I am listening to.

Music has been my companion through joy, sorrow, the birth of my children - I have used music to teach my children, to commemorate special events, to celebrate, to FEEL.

With music I feel the presence of God.

All I know - is that during this time of change -

music, art and a little diet pepsi seem to be the best medicine for this lady.